Bisexworld.it, January 2002
Bi Now And Forever Friends
by Alex
An interview with Robyn Ochs, co–founder of the Boston–based Bisexual Resource Center, one of the most experienced bi activists the world has today. Relentless in her work, Robyn has recently decided to devote even more of her time to bisexual activism. Bisexworld.it inaugurates its 2002 activities with a special entirely dedicated to her, as a sign of friendship between Italy and the rest of the world. Click here to read the special (in Italian)
CAMBRIDGE (Mass.) – She has been dubbed "the grandmother of the bisexual movement". Although it may be a surprising label to ascribe to someone who is merely 43 years old, it is true that Robyn Ochs is one of the world's preeminent bisexual activists. She has been devoting much of her free time to bi–related initiatives for the past 20 years. Robyn was among the founders of the Boston Bisexual Women's Network in 1983, and has been editor of the worldwide–known Bisexual Resource Guide down to its new edition due in 2003.

Bisexworld.it talked to Robyn Ochs last week in an attempt to find out what made her one of the most active bi activists we have today, and what she thinks of issues concerning bisexuality.

"One some level, it's all about deconstructing the myth that we each have one – and only one – perfect match" Robyn says. "Romantic and sexual relationships, especially straight ones, are still based on the mythical idea that our mission is to search for our one true love, our perfect mate. Once you have found your supposedly perfect partner, you marry him/her, and that's it. All of your needs are met by this one person, you are fully satisfied, and you are never again attracted to anyone else. And all of your prior attractions no longer count because they can't possibly compare to your attraction to your perfect mate. End of story."

Robyn's views on the topic are quite subtle, almost philosophical, but crystal clear. "The real threat bisexuality poses" she says, "is to people's certainties on what's right and what's wrong." And bisexuality poses in some ways more of a threat than homosexuality, she argues. It's easier for the narrow–minded to accept that there are the "straight" – the right, and the "bent" – the wrong. This according to Ochs, leads to an utterly distorted view of what people usually call "nature". "Polarizing reality, splitting it into two extremes, is a way to organize its elements so that you do not have to see that there is much more freedom out there. Bisexuality represents this freedom, and it is therefore much more difficult for people to accept. Freedom is what really scares people." She really sounds like Jean-Paul Sartre when she says this. Remember his theory of liberty being the essence of human life and the worst nightmare for human beings ?

Once you have admitted to yourself that the "one perfect relationship" is – for most of us – nothing but a myth, once you've experienced it in your own life, what you're left with is "a big question mark," says Robyn. "It's up to us to decide for ourselves what – and who – matters and how to find our own answers to the questions that arise in our lives," she continues. "In terms of sexuality and relationships, this means that we are responsible both toward ourselves and our partner(s), whether we choose to be in a same-sex, other-sex or multiple relationship." "I have been with a woman for the last 5 years – she continues – and the future of our relationship is in our hands, and it depends on our will to carry it on, based on our mutual needs and the view we have of our future."

I ask her about her university courses. Robyn started teaching bisexuality-related subjects in 1991 at MIT, and she's been a visiting lecturer at Tufts University's Experimental College since 1992. "My courses are wonderful," she says with a smile. “My students and I deal with issues relating to sexual identity from a very broad perspective. It's not a traditionally academic course in that I try to make the connection between theory and the way in which we experience our lives on a day-to-day basis. My courses focus on understanding what it is like to live life as a bisexual, or as a person who is transgendered, intersexual, lesbian or gay. I'm trying to get the students as involved as possible in the discussion, and to make them subjects of their own study. It's just wonderful to see how insightful and original they can be once they open up and tell their stories." Judging from the vast bibliography of her courses at Tufts, though, it looks like class is a lot more than just sitting around talking about your life. It is an unconventional course, because most of the authors are not classic, they are not necessarily Lévi-Strausses or Simone de Beauvoirs, but the issues are dealt with in a very serious way.

My last question for Robyn is on her links with European Bi activism. "I'm always keeping in touch with Europe," she says, "mainly through mailing lists. I mostly listen and rarely post to the European lists, because I'm not from Europe, but I always keep my eyes on my friends there. I attended the European Bi Conference in Rotterdam last June, and it was just wonderful. There are so many amazing European bi activists. In particular, Hilde's work is a great inspiration to me [Hilde Vossen is the chief of the Dutch Bisexual Network], I really admire her."

"I think one of the great things about being an activist," she says, "is the chance you get to meet so many people from different places around the world. It's amazing the number of people I have managed to meet in the years. Some of them have visited me and stayed at my home, I have visited them and stayed at their homes. The common cause of bisexual activism had the positive effect of uniting us, we became friends even before we met."

Read this article in Italian >>